How did I get here?
My voice rings loud in my head.
Did I not see the evil?
Hi there! My name is Rachel and I'm a survivor of domestic violence.
Mahatma Ghandi once said: "Start changing yourself if you want to change the life around you."
Man, that's intense for some people and I get that but the truth is; abuse is so common these days the ones who haven't been touched by it are the minority.
Now for introductions :)
I'm a single mom of 2 traumatized toddlers. My oldest is 5 and my youngest is 3. I just turned 30 *gasp* and I'm in school to get my nursing degree *crosses fingers for acceptance into program*. I'm a CNA/Med Tech. I've traveled the US when I was younger before settling mostly in Utah during my high-school years. (Youth really is wasted on the young, it's probably a good thing I can't redo my high school years though)
I grew up a tomboy, there were times when I was out shooting bb guns and gaming it up then there were times when my older sister pinned me down to pluck eyebrows etc. As time progressed I started to balance fashion with my tomboy traits. I don't claim a label nowadays besides scorpio. I like what I like though I'm guilty of a love affair with shoes and heels but I'm short so that just makes sense.
I'm not going for an autobiography right now so we'll just skip ahead.
I'm not a psychiatrist or a social worker but I am an expert in domestic violence. I'm a woman who was in an abusive relationship. For 6 years I didn't change until I realized that it was necessary to survive and be there for my boys. 6 years is a long time for some and for me, it was an eternity. By the end I had lost touch with what normal was. Nowadays, I joke and call it my idiot coma because I was so isolated from everything that coming out of that and getting my life back was a reawakening, a rebirth.
As I've started the healing process back in 2015 I went back to school and I ended up in a communications class where you guessed it, I had to write a speech. I started researching the data because I realized that I wanted to start speaking out and breaking the silence not just in one class but whenever I could because it's bad folks: 1 in 4 women have been in abusive relationship and 1 in 7 men in their lifetime. That gets to be a large number once a year rolls by; 12 million adults. In one year, 10 million children have witnessed abuse or been abused.
As I've worked through this process it was hard for me to forgive myself for staying for 6 years but I've met some women that were in their nightmare for 15-20 years.
I have a new outlook on life. I am so grateful that I left when I did. I am so fortunate to be alive. I have my boys and I have my family. I am reborn from the emotional, sexual, physical, financial, and spiritual abuse I experienced. The According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, victims to go back to their abuser is 16 to 20 times, this is 85% of victims folks. Thankfully, I'm part of the 15% that never went back. Life is worth every trial and difficulty because when you set goals, you have direction, you have strength.
Now here comes the challenge: look around you and change something you don't like in your life, whether its the procrastination of loading the dishwasher or putting your shoes away when you just want to jump in your pajamas.
Changing yours situation and yourself is challenging. I'm speaking right now because of all of you. I promise that you know someone that is currently or was abused. I was able to end my own crazy love story by breaking the silence. I'm still breaking the silence today, it's my way of helping others and it's my request of you. Abuse thrives only in silence, shine a light on it, monsters are only scary in the dark.
Repeat after me: "I am strong!" Repeat this sentence to yourself as often as you can, no you're not silly.
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